When Can I Start Dating?

The answer will vary depending on what stage of life you are in. Anywhere from a lonely teenager to a divorced grandparent. There are many questions that need to be answered first. Should I start dating? If so, when? Who? The questions will keep piling up until you decide what you sincerely want.

Let’s start by answering the most important question. Why do you want to start dating? Are you looking for the thrill of being with someone new? Do you want a more permanent companion? Are you looking for marriage? Are you looking for sex? Or do you need to take someone to your friends’ weddings, and you don’t want to go solo? Whatever the reason, you need to establish the reason for wanting to date. If you don’t have a reason, then I would suggest you reconsider heading into a relationship until you figure out your reason.

Teenagers

Today, we will be focusing on those who can’t wait to be old enough to get into the dating life. This might be a sensitive topic if you are or have a teenager. The dating age is something that needs to be decided between parents and child.  One should not trump the other; there should be a middle ground. Don’t use the “because I said so”, or the “because I’m the parent” excuse. Explain to your teens why you think your reasoning is correct and then hear them out. 

Parents must understand that their teens are no longer little children and must begin learning to make their own choices. This does not mean teens can do whatever they want, but there should be a little more freedom. Don’t abuse freedom, however. If you decide on an appropriate age, say 16, this also comes with responsibility and boundaries. I would recommend going on group dates at this age. There are few to no reasons teens need to be solo dating at midnight. We all know teenagers are going through hormonal changes, and the opposite sex gets them fired up. Avoiding situations that may result in adolescent sex is a great way to learn self-control, discipline, and maturity.

Remember that most of the time, the main reason for dating is to prepare for marriage. Young teens shouldn’t be dating seriously because they’re not prepared for marriage yet. Marriage is a serious commitment that needs time and maturity from both parties. I’m sorry to say, but human brains aren’t fully developed until they are 25 years old (Joseph Campellone). A teenager at 15 or 16 years old doesn’t have the maturity to understand the commitment of a marriage or a lifelong relationship, let alone the long-term consequences of one bad mistake. Not that they are incapable of understanding this concept, but the overall picture is difficult for them to grasp. So, dating exclusively should not be a priority. If teenagers want to date, let them in a safe and well-lit environment, but try not to make things so serious. Jumping into a relationship when you’re young and horny can lead to some problems down the road.

From my perspective teenagers don’t need to be dating, but it’s part of growing up and maturing. Interactions with the opposite sex during adolescence can create the respect we all want our children to have towards the opposite sex. Let your teens date, but, let them understand your boundaries and rules.

Joseph Campellone, and Raymond Kent. Understanding the Teenage Brain. University of Rochester Medical Center. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051#:~:text=The%20rational%20part%20of%20a,cortex%2C%20the%20brain’s%20rational%20part

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