How much should a ring cost?
I won’t beat around the bush and say right off the bat that it depends. I suggest staying away from very expensive rings. Anything over $1000 is considered expensive. Anything getting close to the national average of $6000 is simply asking way too much. If you can afford something more expensive that won’t put you in debt, by all means, go ahead and buy a more expensive ring. However, most of the population shouldn’t feel obligated to buy an expensive ring. The whole “rule” of buying an engagement ring and spending two months’ salary is, quite frankly, BS. In the 1930s, the De Beers diamond company ran an advertising campaign and gave the idea that “true love and commitment could only be shown if a man spends a month’s salary on his wife’s ring.” (Anna Hecht, 2020.) Diamond companies throw these numbers of two months and now three months’ salary to make money off you. Throw the percentages of your salary out the window and focus on a more solid number. For example, $1000, $800, maybe even as low as $200.
The National Average Couples Spend on a Ring
The price of engagement rings fluctuates from year to year. However, the average is far too high in the first place. In 2018, the national average for an engagement ring was at its highest at $7,829. In 2019, it was at $5900. 2020, it dropped to its lowest at 3,756. In 2021, it jumped back up to $6000. Finally, last year in 2022, it dropped to $5,225.
Won’t People Judge Me If I Don’t Get an Expensive Ring?
Probably. But who cares!? Other people judging you shouldn’t force you to take out a loan for a ring. There are better things a newlywed couple can spend their money on other than paying off a ring. They can use the money to buy a house, or a car, start a business, get ready to start a family, etc. People are looking for status when purchasing an expensive. They want to show it off. They want others to see how beautiful the ring is and how shiny and expensive it is. The price of the ring should not define your character and relationship. Stay on a budget that is comfortable for you as a couple. Stay away from breaking the bank, don’t go into debt, or break your relationship over the price of an object.
Symbolism Behind the Ring
An engagement ring is a symbolic significance that a person is willing to give a higher level of commitment to another. If we attach a $ symbol to the ring, we set up our future relationship for failure. When we base our relationship on something physical like money, and that physical attribute struggles or is no longer available in the future, the foundation of that relationship will crumble. Asking to buy an expensive ring takes a significant toll on the relationship. It states that money is more important than a couple’s symbolic commitment. It is asking to place a couple’s priorities on money.
Talk It Over
The mutual understanding of getting married is essential. Talking things over about getting married shouldn’t be kept secret between a couple. Figuring out that a couple wants to get married should be a conversation set on the table. Next, should be a conversation about what the future bride wants her engagement ring to look like. The next concern should be the budget. These are conversations that are ok to have between a couple. If you want to throw a surprise and have the finances to buy something nice, go ahead and do it. But, if you want to save money and plan, go ahead, and talk things over together. This is good practice for future marriages to begin talking over important topics.
Conclusion
If you have the money and budget to buy an expensive engagement ring, please, I encourage you to do so. I am not saying that having an expensive ring will harm the relationship. But, if the relationship is based on how expensive the engagement ring has to be, then there will be problems down the line. But if you are like most of the population, don’t be ashamed of buying a cheaper ring. I purchased a $30 silicon ring for my wedding band. Although this might only be ideal for some, I believe in the object’s symbolism over its price. I don’t expect anyone to buy a silicon ring from a big brand store, but I encourage you to find the importance of the ring’s symbolic meaning over the importance of how many numbers there are after the $.
References
Anna Hecht, 2020, SPEND You don’t need to spend three months’ salary on an engagement ring—here’s what to do instead.
Blair Donovan. 2022. How Much to Spend on an Engagement Ring.
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