The tradition states that men should always pay for the date. It is probably a written rule somewhere that men should be paying. However, we live in a new age where tradition is always changing. The new tradition is whoever asks for the date should be the one who pays for it. Whether it’s a man or a woman who asked for the date, they are responsible for paying. We should cut this article short and leave it at that, but unfortunately, it might not be as straightforward.
How Much Should the Date Cost
According to a survey, men and women differ on this question. The majority of men, 43%, believe the date should cost anywhere from $50-99. About 41% of men believe it should cost $49 or less, and only 13% answered that it should cost more than $100. Only 2% didn’t have an answer.
On the other hand, the majority of women at, 47%, believe a date should cost around $25-29. 16% of women think a date should cost less than $24, 2% didn’t answer, 28% believe it should be $50-00, and only 6% believe it should be over $100. (Allison, 2017) (Source: SurveyMonkey/Money)
You should aim for a happy medium when it comes to these numbers. If you spend over $50 on a first date, you are either desperate or trying to show off. You shouldn’t be showing either of these attributes on a first date. On the other hand, if you spend less than $20, you are either being too cheap or very creative (which isn’t a bad thing). Suppose you go out for dinner or something different, like ice skating, bowling, etc. Expect to bring your wallet out. If you are the creative type and can figure something out without spending some money, go for it. As long as you create an environment where you can get to know each other, don’t feel pressured to spend money.
When to Not Pay for the Date
Here is where things get a little tricky. You are expected to pay if you ask someone out on a date. However, if your date knows this and begins to take advantage by ordering an uncomfortable amount of food and the $$$ are adding up, you are more than welcome to step in and say you are not paying for all of that. You asked them out on a date to get to know them, and there was a mutual understanding that it would be an inexpensive date. If they begin to argue about paying for everything, agree to pay for your meal and their meal, as long as it’s appropriate. If they are running up the bill past a point of your comfort level, then step in and say something.
Be Courteous
Aside from not ordering too much, expect to pay something whether you asked someone, or someone asked you out. First, if you ask someone out, expect to pay for the date. The exception to the rule is what was mentioned previously. Second, if you are the one who was asked out, expect to pay at least your part. Most likely, you won’t have to, but just in case, be prepared to carry your own weight. If an opportunity arises, offer to pay a tip if your date agrees to pay your part.
Final Thoughts
The first date is a first impression. Don’t let something like money get in the way of what could be a wonderful relationship. It’s ok to talk things out when paying the bill. If you are tight on money, maybe consider doing something less expensive. Have dinner at your place or make a mini golf course around your place, etc. If your date doesn’t want to go out with you because you lack money, they aren’t right for you. Find someone willing to split the bill with you, even if they don’t have to. Find someone you are willing to pay for, or who you are willing to let pay for you.
Reference
Allison McNerney. 2017. Money Survey: 78% Still Think Men Should Pay for the First Date. Money. https://money.com/valentines-day-men-pay-first-date/.